Parents Confess: 50 Things We Pretend to Enjoy

Let's see if they're still smiling after a long day at the amusement park!
Let's see if they're still smiling after a long day at the amusement park!
1/30/24 - By Elsa Simcik

Every week we here at Mommy Poppins ask our readers a question—things like, "What is your favorite donut place in your city?" or "Which would you rather have, a maid or a chef?" We typically get lots of great responses—some funny, some sweet, and some super insightful.

But rarely do we receive as much feedback as when we posed this question: "What are you convinced people are pretending to enjoy?" So many of you came to your keyboards for this one! We received hundreds of responses, with kale being mentioned the most.

Since this was such a hot topic, we decided to compile the best answers into one big list of 45 things we pretend to enjoy—and believe other people pretend to enjoy, too. Save this for the next time you're hanging out with other parents—it's sure to make for a lively discussion. Then check out our Parenting Guide for more parent talk, from funny animal memes to parenting tips from dads.


Some people prefer their seafood cooked—or not at all! Photo by Ally Noel

Food/Drinks We Pretend to Enjoy

1. "Sushi" — Claire R.

We get it—raw fish just isn't for everyone.

2. "Kale" — Lots of People

Some of us prefer our green food in the form of M&Ms and jelly beans.

3. "Cauliflower Disguised as Carbs" — Jaime S. 

If you're gonna eat pizza, you might as well go all the way (unless you're gluten-free, of course).

4. "Black Coffee" — Michelle S.

Yum—just like gasoline!

5. "Falafel" — Krissy B.

Falafel makes some people feel awful. (Sorry—we love a good dad joke!)

6. "Hummus" — Lauren M.

It's very beige.

7. "Celery" — Tasha L.

But, hey—you can dip it in hummus!

8. "IPAs" — Dana B.

Sometimes all you need is a Bud Light.

9. "Seltzers" — Anna M.

Can we make an exception for hard seltzers?

10. "Oysters" — Mandy B.


11. "Greek Yogurt" — Kristin K.

Healthier doesn't always mean tastier...

12. "Avocado on Everything" — Jaclyn M.

Sandwiches, salads, smoothies... you name it, it's got avocado.

13. "Kombucha. I think it tastes like an armpit." — Wendy F.

But think of all the gut benefits!

14. "Quinoa" — Katie W.

It would taste a lot better if it were easier to pronounce.

RELATED: 21 Classic and Funny Campfire Songs for Any Camping Trip

Somebody get us a cabin with a working bathroom! Photo by Ally Noel

Activities We Pretend to Enjoy

15. "Camping" — Lots of people

And that's why they invented glamping!

16. "Live Music" — Elsa S. (the author of this article)

Does anyone have any earplugs?

17. "Plays" — Megan R.

"Wherefore art thou, Megan?" Anywhere but the theater, apparently...

18. "Going to the Beach... All the Sand!" — Monika P.

It's not so much the sand itself. It's the sand ending up in places where sand should never end up.

19. "Hanging Out at the Playground with Young Kids" — Juli S.

"Mom, watch me slide!" times 3,000...

20. "Working Out" — Jamie T.

Does walking from the couch to the fridge count as working out?

21. "Watching Fireworks" — Kate F. 

Luckily, there are lots of fun 4th of July activities that aren't fireworks.

RELATED: Secret Tips for Visiting Walt Disney World With Babies and Toddlers

Family on a Disney World ride
These happy faces are well worth battling the Disney crowds! Photo by Melanie Preis

22. "Disney" — Kelly M.

It's the happiest place on Earth... until the temperature climbs, the crowds take over, and your kid has a meltdown. But trust us—every child needs to visit Disney World or Disneyland at least once!

23. "Big Family Vacations" — Jocelyn M.

Because who has the energy to plan lodging, meals, and activities for 15 people? Keep it simple and plan a trip for just your immediate family with our Family Travel Guide.

24. "Cooking" — Brandee R.

A private chef isn't too much to ask for, right? Or, you can delegate the job to your children with our list of 100 easy recipes for kids.

25. "Crafting" — Allison F.

We can't all be Pinterest moms. Luckily, many of these 100 awesome art projects for kids can be done without a parent's help.

26. "Running. Have you ever seen a happy runner?" — Carson S.

Shin splints and blisters and strains, oh my!

27. "Pickleball" — Megan L.

Why is it called that, anyway?

RELATED: 40 Top Amusement Parks in the US for a Family Vacation

Waiting in line at a theme park
Smiling makes waiting in line just a tad bit easier. 

28. "Amusement Parks" — Mary G.

We know, there's nothing like waiting on an hour-long line for a two-minute ride. But when you've gotta do a theme park, our Family Amusement Parks & Water Parks Guide will help.

29. "Cruises" — Ron W.

You're on a ship... in the middle of the ocean... with no escape...

30. "Pretend Play with My Kids" — Jen W.

"No, Mom, you're supposed to cry now. And now you're supposed to laugh. Now you're supposed to do a cartwheel." Sigh...

31. "Shopping. It's torture to me!" — Angela M.

It's even more fun with kids in tow!

32. "Apple Picking" — Colleen C.

But think of all the goodies you can make—like these easy apple recipes!

33. "Swimming in a Lake" — Lauren N.

What just touched our leg?

34. "Yoga" — Michelle W.

Namaste, Michelle. Namaste!

RELATED: Best Baby Registry Services and Why We Love Them

Pregnant woman resting on couch
One pregnancy perk: It's a great excuse to put your feet up! Photo by SHVETS production via Pexels

More Things We Pretend to Enjoy

35. "Being Pregnant" — Gina G.

It's not smooth sailing for every expectant mother, but things like taking a babymoon and choosing baby names make pregnancy a bit more fun.

36. "Being Married" — Karrie D.

You mean, it's not all rainbows and butterflies and sunshine and roses?

37. "Pumpkin Spice Anything" — Stephanie M.

It started with lattes and muffins and now it's moved to deodorant and toilet spray. It's all just... too much.

38. "Modern Farmhouse Decor" — Michelle W.

Because not everyone wants their house to look like a Pottery Barn store.

39. "Kids in General" — Vee C.

You can love them fiercely, but it doesn't mean you have to enjoy them...

40. "Hamilton" — Elsa S. (again, me, the author)

I am throwing away my shot at liking this musical.

41. "Dave Matthews Band" — Frank S.

Just own it, Frank!

42. "Purse Bingo" — Danielle C.

Wait... Purse Bingo is a thing? Tell us more!

43. "Christmas" — Stephanie R.

Because everyone knows moms do all the work!

44. "Leaving the House" — Neetika P.

Life's just better in pjs under a blanket.

45. "When My In-Laws Visit" — Anyonymous

Just grin and bear it!

46. "New Year's Eve" — Heather H.

You mean we have to stay awake until MIDNIGHT?

47. "People"— Kellie N.

Just give us one week in a hotel room with Netflix, a good book, room service, and not another soul in sight. Aaaahhhh...

48. "Social Media" — Valerie M.

Everyone else's lives seem so perfect!

49. "Making Small Talk at Kids' Events" — Elizabeth V.

But we'll seem unfriendly if we keep to ourselves!

50. "Listening to My Kid Practice the Recorder" — Jennifer W.

The sound is like nothing that can possibly be described!

Unless noted, photos by the author

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