They're going to try to tell you it's pumpkin season, but it's not, not matter what the seasonal aisle at Trader Joe's may be implying. It's just plain old September, a neither here nor there month, but clearly not fall and in no way Halloweeny.
You know what it is? Fiestas Patrias, aka Mexican Independence Day. No hay calabazas ahora.
You know what it is? Talk like a Pirate Day, so shut yer gourd about Jack-o'-lanterns afore we make ye walk the plank.
You know what it is? Coast Open Streets, a day we get out and walk our way through Santa Monica. You're going to use your feet to get around, not some bippity boppity boo'ed pumpkin.
You know what it is? Opening day of the Spider Pavilion, an arachnology themed exhibit without any seasonal connotation to speak of.
To review: this weekend is many things, but pumpkiny it is not. Sorry to squash your hopes.
Keep reading for our spiciest picks for this big orange weekend....