Best Dad Jokes

1. What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna One. Anna Two.

2. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?

Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.

3. What kind of car does an egg drive?

A yolkswagen.

4. Two guys walked into a bar.

The third guy ducked.

5. Is BB hungry?

No, BB-8.

6. Why did the whale blush?

It saw the ocean’s bottom.

7. How do you make Lady Gaga mad?

Poke her face.

8. What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?

Where’s the popcorn?

9. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese!

10. Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands!

11. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.

12. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye Matey.

13. What do you call a sheep that knows karate?

A lamp chop.

14. What do you call a cow after an earthquake?

A milkshake.

15. When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

Related: 15 Father's Day Crafts and Gifts That Kids Can Make

Give Dad an extra laugh or two!

More Funny Dad Jokes

16. What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?

“Yellow!”

17. Why are frogs so good at basketball?

They always make the jump shots.

18. Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

19. Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

20. What do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

21. Mom asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list.

Now I can’t see anything.

22. What do you call fake pasta?

An impasta!

23. I don’t trust those trees.

They seem kind of shady.

24. What has more letters than the alphabet?

The post office!

25. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I’ll let you know …

26. Why do melons have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

27. Why type of dog tells time best?

A watchdog.

28. Do you want a box for your leftovers?

No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.

29. Where do quarterbacks go to dance?

Footballs.

30. Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?

The batter!

31. Why is Yoda such a good gardener?

He has green thumbs.

32. What do you call a baby monkey?

A chimp off the old block.

Dad Jokes That Make You Groan

33. Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?

Forget it. It’s way over your head.

34. I've decided to sell my Roomba.

It was just collecting dust anyway.

35. Why do dads feel the need to tell such bad jokes?

They just want to help you become a groan-up.

36. I used to play piano by ear.

Now I use my hands.

37. It’s raining cats and dogs.

So be careful not to step in a poodle.

38. What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

39. What’s red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

40. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down!

41. The Lego shop reopens tomorrow, but I recommend avoiding it for the time being.

People will be lined up for blocks.

42. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

43. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they are so good at it.

44. Dad, can you put my shoes on?

No, I don't think they'll fit me.

45. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

46. I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

47. What’s harder to catch the faster you run?

Your breath.

48. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A stick!

49. What are the world’s smartest animals?

Fish, because they stay in schools.

50. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?

Loafers.

Charlotte Wensley contributed additional reporting to this 2022 update.