At home:
1. Cook meals for the week on the weekends so you can heat them up quickly at dinner time, and/or take leftovers for lunch. Have a meal plan for the week which you roughly stick to. Organize a supper swap with a willing neighbor or friend to minimize the number of meals you have to plan. We also used a local meal delivery service, like Cooking from the Heart, for one or two really hard weeks, and froze what we didn't finish.

2. Love your village, and get to know your neighbors. You're in this together. In many countries and cultures, people live with their families and extended families close-by; that's less true for many Americans. Online message boards like JPMoms and Cambridge Parents can offer excellent advice (and lots of used kid gear you really, really don't have to purchase new) and provide family-like support systems. Find your virtual village here.

3. Outsource creatively. If you can afford help around the house, enlist some. The amazing Vida Verde Co-op has undergone some structural changes but is still worth checking out, and there are many amazing, local business owners who can help on a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly basis.

And, even though our daughter is in daycare, we have found back up childcare incredibly important. Check job boards at local colleges and universities, or Parents in a Pinch, which is costly but useful (and which some employers subsidize). Mother's helpers offer a less expensive alternative, or form a babysitting co-op, an even cheaper way to get some additional childcare for those evenings when you just need to sneak out for a breather. Check out Celeste's post for ways to organize a baby-sitting co-op in your neighborhood.

4. Meet weekly with your partner (after kid bedtime) to check in about what's going on in the next week, longer-term goals, on-going projects, and who is doing what. Keep a log, make an agenda, and at the end of the meeting, make sure that you're both clear about what you've decided. Cheesy, and even a bit corporate, but useful.   

5. Be gentle with yourself. Take a bath and lock the bathroom door. Go for long walks. Exercise. Many gyms, like the YMCA of Greater Boston, offer free childcare with membership, so you can even take the little ones along. Especially if you have an infant at home, or are still nursing, your body needs your attention and care.

6. Use an electronic calendar and shared apps (like Evernote and Anylist) for information that you want to share with your partner: grocery lists, tasks, and task completion. Mint.com is a good way to track spending and is easy to use. I also find pre-curated lists of books to order from the library, like the ones at A Mighty Girl or this list of children's books about Boston, pretty fabulous.

7. Let go of stuff that you don't really care about. Unless you love to bake (which some of us do), order store-bought cupcakes for your child's birthday party if it means you get to go to bed at a reasonable hour the night before the event. Relax your rules around screen time if it means you get to catch up with your partner for half an hour before or after dinner.

8. BUT keep some family time sacred. Decide what's reasonable, and then put phones and laptops away during that designated time. You won't really miss them.

At work:
9.  Say yes to the projects you care about, but no to anything that your gut tells you isn't that important. When I went back to work, I felt obliged to take on all kinds of new projects and responsibilities just to prove (mostly to myself) that I was still in the loop. For all that 'leaning in' matters, there are only a finite number of hours in a given day. Set reasonable expectations for yourself.

10. Communicate openly and clearly with colleagues. If you're not able to stay late for a meeting because you have to pick up your child from daycare by 5, say so up front; if it's a problem, offer to make up the time elsewhere.  If a colleague gives you grief, simply explain that your daycare charges hourly (sometimes by the minute!) if you're late.

11. Know your rights. If you're nursing, scope out a private room where you can pump breast milk on the job. The Affordable Care Act legally requires employers to provide you a non-bathroom space for pumping for a year after a child's birth. The Massachusetts Breastfeeding Coalition has tons of resources for the pumping-at-work mom.

12. Know your value. Your might feel guilty or flaky dashing out of a meeting to pick up a sick kid,  but working moms actually provide organizations with a lot of tangible benefits. Be knowledgeable about what you bring to your workplace, and don't be afraid to remind people as necessary.

13. Participate in as many events as you can: work parties, sponsored fun-runs, and office potlucks are a great way to socialize with your colleagues and feel connected to your work place. One of the highlights of 2013 for me was running a 5k with my daughter cheering me along at the finish line.

14. Enjoy the camaraderie of other moms in your workplace; it can be so grounding. But remember you don't have to limit your workplace conversations to diaper changing or tantrum taming techniques, and it can be freeing to discuss something other than your kids. Non-parents may also be dealing with issues that are as time consuming or emotionally intense as child-rearing, such as caring for an elderly parent, or managing a chronic illness themselves.

15. And, remember: Tomorrow is a new day. There will be days when you feel totally on top of your game, and days that leave you completely exasperated. And lots and lots of days in between.