How to stop getting mad and get even - over household chores

After sex and money and kids the thing most couples fight about is chores. Chores. It doesn't seem to have the emotional baggage that the others do, so what's the deal? Apparently, it's about respect (I read that somewhere). If the other person isn't taking enough care about the house we share, it feels like a lack of respect and appreciation for the other person. If you put it that way, it does seem like a pretty important part of a healthy relationship.

So, after smoldering all day about my husband not helping out as much as I wished he did, I decided that I wouldn't get mad, I'd get even. That's where the Taskmaster came in. No, it's not a torture device, it's a form to help you divide the household chores evenly.

If you decide to try the Taskmaster, make sure to use it as a tool, not just for "getting even," but for discussing how you feel about the chores, which ones are you unhappy about how they are being done now and which ones do you feel should be shared. Try to make concrete agreements about who will do what and, equally importantly, when.

What we did was take the form and first check off who was doing what now and how many hours a month each person spent on their chores. It was interesting that it come out almost exactly even. Have we naturally fallen into a pattern that is fair? I guess all those back and forths about who does more have proved us both wrong. Neither of us realized how much the other person is doing.

If you find your spouse resistant to taking on more responsibility around the house maybe show him or her this article I found on mothersandmore.com which says that if you share household tasks evenly:

The kids do better at school and suffer from fewer mental health issues;
The mother is more productive and enjoys better physical health;
The father enjoys greater physical health;
The couple has more sex.

So take a break from fighting about sex for one night and fight about chores, who knows, maybe you'll kill two birds with one stone.

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