The Funniest Lies Parents Tell Their Kids

Tired of kids stealing from you plate? Tell them your food is spicy! Waaay too spicy!
Tired of kids stealing from you plate? Tell them your food is spicy! Waaay too spicy!
8/3/21 - By Rose Gordon Sala

We don't want to condone lying, but sometimes a parent has to rely on a little white lie to get through the day...or to just emerge unscathed from Target's toy aisle. A little white lie might also be put to use to coax a kid into a much-needed nap or away from the ice cream truck that always shows up 10 minutes before dinnertime.

We recently asked our readers about the funniest lies they had told their kids, and wow, some of these are next-level genius parenting hacks!


Fed up with that Paw Patrol jingle? Let your toddlers know that show is just not appropriate for their age. Can't take cleaning up after another glitter bomb of an art project? Well, clearly you're now highly allergic to glitter! Read on for more of our readers best and funniest little parenting lies.

White Lies To Save Our Sanity

1. Paw Patrol is just for teenagers.

2. You can only go to Chuck E Cheese if you are invited to a birthday party. Otherwise it's closed.

3. Aw, no you can’t have that stuffed animal. This is where they live; they don’t want to come home with us.

4. My food is spicy. You won't like it.

5. Play-doh is an "outside toy."

6. Picking your boogers might cause a brain infection.

7. YouTube didn’t pay its internet bill, so that’s why the app is gone from your device.

8. Or... YouTube just doesn’t exist in our house. We can't get it.

9. Yes, all cartoons take naps, the same time yours is scheduled for today!

10. Paint only exists at daycare.

11. If you don’t get out of the tub fast enough, you might go down the drain with the bath water. 

12. Only adults are allowed into Target today.

13. We’re out of batteries.

14. The internet turns off every night at 6pm.

15. Yes, everyone goes to bed at 7pm...everyone in the whole world.

16. I’m allergic to glitter.

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Parenting White Lies to Save Us Money

17. There’s a minimum entry age at Disney World...and you’re not old enough.

18. Or…Mom is allergic to Disney World.

19. The zoo is only open once a month.

20. The toy store went up in flames.

21. Vending machines require a special type of money that we don’t have.

22. Target is sold out of toys.

23. I don’t have any money.

White Lies to Avoid Junk Food

24. Lucky Charms is a grown-up cereal.

25. The ice cream truck only plays music when they are out of ice cream.

26. Or... The ice cream truck is actually just a "music truck" that drives around playing music for kids.

27. Chocolate is spicy.

28. The Kraft Mac and Cheese factory had a fire and can’t make anymore for quite a while.

29. If I don’t want them to drink it, "it’s coffee" in my cup!

30. Soda stunts your growth.

31. Yes, that’s a "fruit" casserole.

32. Vegetables make you grow immediately; I can see you growing right now!

33. All the snacks have gone to bed for the night.

RELATED: 40 Jokes for Kids That Will Keep the Whole Family in Giggles

Lies to Encourage Good Behavior

34. I can call Santa whenever I want.

35. Moms have actual eyes in the backs of their heads.

36. I can see your nose grow when you're lying.

37. I could be arrested if you stuck your hand out the car window...or left an interior light on.

White Lies for Potty Training

38. They ran out of Diego pull ups, you will have to use Dora, signed a Mom of 3 boys.

39. Actually, the store is just completely out of diapers. There aren’t any available!

40. Besides, the store doesn’t give out diapers to children after their 3rd birthday, so I guess you better wear underwear.