I don't mean to scare you but Christmas is in two weeks. Less maybe, depending on when you're reading this. So we're talking, what, maybe eleven shopping days? Twelve if you're lucky. And that's if you're willing to face the malls or shell out for expedited shipping.

Don't get me wrong; we can help you out. Mommy Poppins can direct you to the finest holiday cheer, all the boat parades, Santa breakfasts (what is it with the Jingle dude and breakfast? Will someone buy him dinner already!?), Nutcrackers galore (no lie, this whole post could have been filled with nothing but Nutcracker); we can point you towards the most elaborately decorated houses, and we can even tell you where to find a spare reindeer (in case yours is in the shop), but as for what you're going to place under the tree...

... well, whaddya know? Looks like we can help you with that too. Turns out we've got a few giveaways coming up, You're going to want to pay close attention, read your email and check it twice, because you do not want to miss out on the serious swag we are giving away.

In the meantime, keep reading for our favorite picks for this weekend (think of it as an early Christmas present)...

And now it starts. We've had our Thanksgiving turkey and lit our Hanukkah candles, not to mention shopped Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, Green Tuesday, and There Must Be Something Left to Buy Wednesday. There's no kidding ourselves: the Christmas season is here and now. Santa Claus has come to town, and he won't leave until he's had a year's worth of breakfasts. (He really likes breakfast.)

Of course, December in LA is more than just Santa Claus. It's holiday lights. It's boat parades. It's Nutcracker upon Nutcracker, and snow, snow, snow. It's also the time of year that our calendar is so jam-packed that our weekly posts can only scratch the surface of the infinite possibilities for family fun. Trust me, though we do our best to highlight the hottest and the coolest, you're going to want to peruse our full calendar to make sure you're not missing a thing.

(Like say a giveaway. Which we might be doing at any time now. Like for instance, right this minute.  And it could be for something awesome. Something princess. Something Disney. Just saying.)

Here are our favorite picks for the weekend, just to get you started...

Okay, you've got like maybe a five minute breather before all holidays break loose. You know what I'm talking about. The Thanksgivikkah convergence, in which you must ask your child to channel sublime gratitude while opening the floodgates to eight crazy nights of "me want."  I'm talking about the late-on-the-scene Turkey Day resulting in a shorter than usual shopping season, (though someone might want to tell that to the elves already decorating our local malls). I'm talking about non-stop jingling bells, twinkling lights, and shaking jelly-bowl bellies from now until the new year.

But this weekend, and probably this weekend alone, does not HAVE to be about the holidays. You can celebrate fandom and circus life, toast the Autry on its anniversary, or call me Ishmael with all the other whale-heads reading Moby Dick on the beach.  You can see Disney's Frozen a full five days before the rest of the country. You can dance in your pj's, bust some myths or bust some moves with female mariachis.  You can give thanks, not in a turkeys and pilgrims way, but in a grateful for good health way.

Or you can dive in with both feet and make this weekend an all Hanukkah, getting ready for Christmas, holiday superfun time for the ages. We've got your back either way.

To get you started, here are our favorite picks for the weekend:

Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry, you'd better not pout, I'm telling you why:  A) because pouting is really annoying, right up there with whining, B) because the Caffeine Fairy is coming to town, bringing sugary stimulation to good mommies and daddies everywhere, and C) because you'll scare away the reindeer. (They're a skittish breed, especially when they're hyped up on frappuccinos).

Santa's coming, too, drawn in by the first signs of winter (all that ice and snow we've been having).  As in seasons past, he can be found at tree lightings and breakfasts across the Southland.  Now might be a good time to start putting some check marks in your "nice" column; count on Mommy Poppins to lend a helping hand.

In fact, we want to help you all the way through this holiday season, every Thanksmakwanzakkah moment of it. Take a moment to sign up for our emails (if you haven't already) so you can be the first to get the latest scoop from us....

...such as our favorite picks for the weekend:

As I write this, Halloween is before us. We're still putting the finishing touches on our costumes and greedily anticipating the bounty of treats that await us. It's the one night of the year when we let our kids take candy from strangers, and might even grab a few pieces for ourselves.

Some weekends might have a hard time living up to such a world-class Thursday, but not November 2-3, 2013, nosirree.  Because this weekend is a holiday in its own right: Dia de los Muertos. Count on us to clue you in to the best celebrations throughout the Southland.

And as if two holidays in close succession weren't enough, this weekend even has a gift that everyone can appreciate: an extra hour of sleep. It’s the end of Daylight Savings Time for 2013, so in the wee hours of  November 3 the clock “falls back” an hour. Make sure to reset your clocks (and it’s a good time to check the batteries in your smoke alarm, as well).

Keep reading for our favorite picks for the upcoming weekend...

Let me say up front, we have nothing against princesses. My daughter rocked her Rapunzel costume for Halloween last year. Princesses rule. But it’s easy to get into a princessy rut. The gown and crown becomes the default costume, to the point that many girls don’t consider any other costume options for Halloween time. So when I asked my child what she wanted to be for Halloween this year, I have to say I was pleased that she chose a non-royal alternative.

This weekend has the stink of Halloween all over it. Oh, some folks might try to pull the cobwebs over your eyes, talking about “autumn” and “the harvest.”  Yeah, that’s why we’re hitting every pumpkin patch and corn maze within a 50 mile limit. For autumn. And throwin’ candy in kids’ bags? Totally a harvest thing.

We’ve been down this road before. A few weeks of Halloween mania will give way to two solid months of the C word. (Not the bad one, the good, merry-jolly one, but I don’t want to say it too loud lest little ears get ideas.)  Am I alone in saying “how about some Mom time?” Seriously, wouldn’t it be nice if there were a day or two when we could all get together and learn important Mom stuff, commiserate and find inspiration, get goody bags (goody bags: trick or treating, Mom-style!) and other perks such as complimentary stroller cleanings, work-out classes, and make-overs… all while keeping the kids thoroughly entertained? Sounds like a Mommy oasis in the parenthood desert, doesn’t it? Just about the only thing that could make it better would be if we could get you in free. Guess what? Wish granted! The Los Angeles Mom Expo is next week and we’ve got your tickets now! Sign up on our Rafflecopter giveaway and you could be one of 250 lucky winners of a family four-pack of tickets! (Just get your entry in by Friday) Score!

We now return you to our regularly scheduled pumpkin-mania…

Happy Birthday to (mumble). Happy birthday to (cough cough).  Happy Birthday to (I really should know your name), Happy Birthday to yoooou. October birthdays: there sure are a lot of them. (That’s sign of the pumpkin, right?) Seems everywhere I turn I’m hearing about another shindig. From the cute little parks celebrating their first to the retail darling turning 10. We even have a few middle-aged celebrants on our calendar (can you believe the Fowler is 50? It could pass for a museum half its age!).

And then there are those so old they stop keeping count. What’s a few million years when you’re a fossil? Or a moon? Or the stars? At that age, it doesn't matter whether they remember your birthday, as long as they still visit.

If it's visitors you want, there’s no better way to draw kids to your door than to lay out the orange and black carpet. Advertise your Halloween spirit with a few well-placed dismembered body parts, and you can rest assured that come October 31, li’l pirates and princesses will be beating a path to your door to relieve you of your tempting treats. And possibly to t.p. your lawn.

Keep reading for some of our spookiest picks for the weekend…