What do Hipster Parents Sound Like to Kids?

3/22/07 - By Anna Fader
Simon Rich has written a hysterical version of what grown up conversation sounds like to kids in this week's New Yorker Shouts and Murmurs. It made me think about how much I enjoy The New Yorker now and how much I hated it as a kid. In tribute to Simon Rich's piece, here's how I imagined my parents when reading The New Yorker as a kid: DAD: This magazine is so great. It has so many words in it. MOM: Look at the cover. It makes no sense. That's so clever. DAD: (laughing) And, this cartoon isn't funny. That's the kind of cartoon I like, black and white cartoons that aren't funny. MOM: I have an idea. Let's pick a movie based on these reviews to take the kids to. They'll love that. OK. That got my juices flowing, so let's keep going with this.

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What does conversation at the hipster parents couch sound like to the kids?

MOM: Did you see the cute thing the kid did today? DAD: Yeah, we need to make sure he doesn't do anything cute. That's not cool. FRIEND: Hey, I think they're watching kid TV over there. MOM: Shit! I thought I'd set it to only play MTV2. DAD: Shut up...This is the best part of the song. MOM: So are you taking the kid to the loud smelly grown-up concert tomorrow? He was kind of crying about it. DAD: He's going to love it. Dammit. MOM: They saw some fun toys at their friend's today that we can deprive them of... DAD: Cool. MOM: Cool. DAD: Cool. MOM: Cool. DAD: Cool. DAD: Cool. MOM: The girl asked for a pink thing, but I bought her an ironic T-Shirt instead. DAD: Yeah, it's important that she learn to think for herself. Not just fall into what she wants because everyone else is doing it. MOM: Those kids are lucky to have parents who are so cool and youthful like us, even though we're in our 50s. DAD: I like smoking this funny cigarette. It makes me stupid. MOM: I took away all their candy so we can eat it after they go to bed. Anyone else feel the vibe? Send in your version of grown-up stuff as heard by kids.